Today was a confusing day for me in some sense.......... haha maybe u all will think tat is nothing much la.. but to me, haha i dunno lei.. jus doesn't seem to feel right......
Today while trimming, one of a dr started to chit chat wif me~ here it goes........
Dr: Agnes, how old are u le?
Me: Eh, i thot i told u b4 during FS?
Dr: I forgot le.
Me: Oh i am 22 this yr.
Dr: U got bf a not?
Me: No, why? U wan intro to me is it?
He laughed....
Dr: So wat kind of guy u like?
At tat point, my tongue-tied...... i dunno why...... last time normally pple asked me or when chatting abt guys, i will said tat guys must be wat and wat then good... or wat kind of guys i prefered... but somehow i jus can't say out anything~ but i know tat i msut at least answered him back... so i.....
Me: I like guys tat look like a guy lo.. haha...
Dr: Wah alot of pple also look like guy lo, likr Dr WPC (the most rude and dirty person)...
Me: Haha, u can exclude her man!
After tat i went back to do my work le........
Maybe to u all it really jus like... how to say... normally la.. nothing to worry abt.. but hoh...... i dunno~
I remembered i told my mum like few mths ago, tat i find having a bf is quite bothersome~ becos watever i do, i have to be sensitive to him... i go anywhere at least must let him know... if i sms him, hope he will reply back if not will keep like why haven reply huh... hope tat everyday must have communication... regardless phone call/sms... spend adequate time together la... give and take la.. wah and many many more~ haiz......
well maybe in some sense to be frank to myself, i jus dun wan to go back the days when i have bf tat time..... like the above probs i listed down.... the experiences really so bad tat i jus dun wan to cry over a guy ever now and then~ haha i got experienced crying every now and then for 2 and a half yr... haha can imagine.. so i really dislike the part of me tat cry now~ hmmmm.........
Somemore of cos ever since single, will meet guys here and there... but they jus those kind of guy tat are jus too into themselves... maybe becos they never have a gf b4... ego..... when come to moments of truth... the way they expressed themselves u never know wat they thinking and wat they want... in the end, my attitudes will become "can't be bothered" le......
So now guys, to me...... can chit chat, can look look see see.. but more than tat, i will jus try to protect myself more ba~ if i like a guy in some sense, i will try to put an end to it by maybe indirectly "committing suicide" and sort of tell the guy... haha although actually nothing much happened but of cos is back to me la, i become can't be bothered and forget abt him liao~ haha, am i abit selfish? only wan to protect myself...?
Despite all tat... i know there is always 1 guy tat treat me good despite i scolded him, quarreled wif him.... ignore him for 1 yr plus.... no matter wat he is always there...... my family always praise him as he can tolerate me and not getting angry wif me at all........ haha but but...... well the probs still wif me la..... somemore i can't imagine me wif him... jus can fit the puzzle together at all..... so i also dunno yo... jus hope this dilemma faster go away and i will forget abt it.. haha i think maybe by the next day i will forget liao.. cos i can always brighten my day at workplace and at home~
i can do it de!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cos i am AGNES! heez!!!!