A past sadness arise again?

Today while waiting for my lab exam to start at 7pm... Er ma (shiqin) and i have a quite heart to heart talk.....

She was asking me abt my love life.. any recent guy in my life beside ah fu....... then ya of cos i told her dun have liao cos really dun have liao........

Then i started asking abt hers... she told me abt her one.... So in the end, i told her the full story of ah fu and me la.....

Well...... after hearing my story... she understand why i angry wif him, why i and him drifting apart further and further le..... haha wat shocked her the most was the part i indirectly confess in some sense la.... haha cos i was really pissed off wif him liao... haha~

Later on, she asked me... If i see him again on saturday at my house for the steamboat session, will my feelings come back again.......?

Well, i told her no becos i know we will jus remained the same like tat or we will jus drift further and further..... even now if i were to talk to him, i really dunno wat to talk to him, talk to a certain point, i will end up ended the conversation or jus keep quiet le..... It doesn't feel the same anymore not becos i know he dun like me or wat, jus tat i see his characters like tat.. it jus hard also ya... haha.... too ego and temperamental.... even if i know he cared for me abt the incident when i cut my thumb, i dun feel a single happiness ya.. cos i know it is jus his mood is good tat all..... haiz.....

Sometime i questioned myself this question...... Do i regret knowing him from the start?? Until now, i dun have an answer for tat... i jus know tat, suddenly have a heart to heart talk wif shiqin abt this after so so long........ i feel a kind of sadness in me suddenly.... i also dunno why.... i reflected back, i was also confused how things turn so much from the time i knew him until now......... It was like a dream to me.... so unreal when he treat me so nice last time... sakura buffet, beach, ikea, my sis's chalet and those conversation.... then the present him, make me wake up from my dream..... feel abit upset now..... how come i feel upset lei?? but now even at home, i dun think of him anymore yo~ even at work.... last time will but now no........... but how come i feel abit sad now lei... hmmm.....

Wat will happened on saturday..................?? i only know tat watever i feel on saturday no one will know it cos i will have it cover well .... tat is provided if i really feeling sad or wat la when i see him on saturday la......

I guess no one can predict wat will happen on saturday.... no one know... i also dunno...........

你以是过客.... and forever will ba....