Jus let it end ba~

To him...........

I think is quite hard to pretend nth happened.... pretend i never said those things to u at all.... ever since tat incident, i thot we could still be normal frens... but until yesterday i was wrong.... really wrong...

Yesterday out of no where my hp photos all disappeared.... i was so shocked... wat had happened man.......... then Pream asked me why i so worry abt it... i suddenly said "becos got 1 photo inside my hp, i......." i paused.... Pream looked at me and smiled and said "Is a guy?" I faster lied and said "no", he said "Dun bluff, i know is a guy.. jus take the photo again la....." So i jus replied, "I can't cos it is not the same anymore...." Why is it jus a photo but it seem so precious to me.... Why.... so after tat i switched off and on my hp, all the photos returned.... tat photo was also there too~ a sigh of relief.... when i reached home i pondered.... why do i have to feel relief.... it is impossible between us~ confirm plus guarantee.....

Today saw his nick........... i suddenly envy the person tat he help to promote the webby in his nick..... and i suddenly realised all along i actually envy tat person..... how slow can i go.... and to him, maybe i really nothing, not even fren ba~ (u all may think i emo tat why i typed all these... but i am not~ jus tat it took so long for me to realise)

I envy the fact tat:

He called tat person to help him wif his work... i helped him once which was due to the fact tat tat person dunno wan to help and asked me to help........ so he no choice he asked me help, but yes i am not much of a help... he know tat and i know tat too....

He willing to sacrifice some of his time to give tat person surprises during tat person party... for me, he forget abt it and didn't even pay for my present....

Tat person i guess is the only one tat can make him so angry, until to the point tat he initiate to talk to me in MSN jus to tell me wat tat person said......

Both of them have common topics to say, but my topics wif him are getting lesser and lesser....

Well i am jus purely envy not jealousy yo.. tat i very confirm... cos tat person is an important person to me... if tat person is important to me, i confirm will not be jealous de... is the same thing tat as long as u are my frens, i will never be jealous of u de... well tat is me~

To him, i felt tat i am not tat impt as a fren at all.... (actually all along i know~ But i thot time can make things better)

He gd mood... he treat me gd, show "some" concern......

He bad mood.. he asked me to leave him alone, dun disturb him....

When we are all busy wif our life, he won't come and ask how are u or wat.... always i am the one doing it as i always do this to all my frens.... as a fren i care abt his life this and tat, to him he doesn't care even for me as a fren....

He treat me nice sth is all for the sake of his face, he said b4 he can't live w/o his face and pride.... so my lst impression of him as a gentleman is due to this factor ba....

Why do i try so hard to be a gd fren to him when he dun even bother................ why must i always hope tat as a fren, when he need someone to talk to i will try my best to talk to him... when he complained things to me in MSN, i will call him straight easier to talk...........

Now i think abt it be frens also like tat ba............. jus a nobody to him... compare to an ant, i am like nothing ba~

我为什么要这样 默默的对你好? 就所是朋友 , 我也是真的当你是真心朋友 ... 可是对你而言 , 我其实 是一个不起眼的人吧 ..... 这么久的努力, 其实都是只有我在真心诚意的当你是朋友吧 .... 我觉得 好笨 .. 我想是时候 , 我放弃这些努力吧 .... 因为我再这么努力 , 我们永远都不会是好朋友 , 也不可能是知心朋友的 ....

我放弃了 ...

我觉得真的没有必要再见面了 ... 就然这一切变成历史吧.. 不想再看到你然我想起我有多傻 .....

If anyone of u ask me again... do i regret knowing him....

My answer is....

I regret... cos he let me realise how silly i was.....

To him:

I will jus let it end..... Hope we will never see each other again and will never know any news abt each others ba~

I dun wan to know anythings abt him anymore.... dun wan to hear his name anymore~

Dun worry pple, i am alright.. really... no tears nothings.. jus tat i know wat i wan ba~